


Aftermath

by HotBoyfRiendsGarbage



Series: Afterwards [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Bromance, Childhood Memories, First Meetings, High Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, it'll get there, lots of fluff, not gay yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 06:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HotBoyfRiendsGarbage/pseuds/HotBoyfRiendsGarbage
Summary: Directly after the Squip deactivating. This may or may not have been inspired by the first stanza of The Bro Duet. Make of that what you will.





	1. Blackout

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the 3 fics I wrote when I reached peak BoyfRiend garbage. They are actually one big fic, but there's lots of time gaps and BIG tonal shifts, so it just made sense to divy them up accordingly. I would recommend reading them in order (Math, Shock, Glow). I would die for these cinnamon rolls. Hope you enjoy, open to comments and critiques!

“ **AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!** ”

Christine’s scream pierced through Michael’s ears and his face contorted in pain. Of all the times to forget his beloved noise-cancelling headphones. He felt the tight grips on his arms and legs loosen as the kids around him began to scream as well. They pulled away from him, all clutching their heads. The high-pitched tidal wave of noise was so deafening that Michael went down to his knees, clapping his hands over his ears. He did manage to look up; with his view cleared of creepy Squip-zombies, he could see Jeremy, frantically looking around at everyone screaming. They locked eyes, and Jeremy gave Michael a relieved, but nervous smile. Michael grinned right back and gave his best friend a thumbs-up.

“Jeremy, you did it—!” Michael tried to yell over the screeching, when suddenly Jeremy’s eyes scrunched shut and his hands flew to the back of his head. Now he was screaming with everyone else, only his screaming rose above everyone else’s. His spine contorted all the way back, and Michael swore he saw a halo of blue electricity sparking out of Jeremy’s head. A torrent of fear flooded through him as he watched Jeremy writhe, his mouth stretching open with his screams as far as it could go.

THUD! Michael jumped as Christine loudly hit the ground in front of Jeremy, curled up in a ball and rocking back and forth. THUD! Brooke followed suit, her head still enveloped in her long arms. Jake’s casts bounced off the linoleum floor as he collapsed, followed by Chloe, Mr. Reyes and Jenna. The screams had stopped, but they had left a tinny ringing in Michael’s right ear. Jeremy was still standing, and his arms dropped to his sides. He had stopped screaming and was staring blankly ahead, dazed.

“Jeremy, that was amazing!!!” Michael exclaimed, rising to his feet. He excitedly pumped his fists in the air. “You won, man! You beat it! That was better than any videogame—” He was cut off by a loud, horrifying buzzing sound that resembled a powerline getting hit by lightning. His voice caught in his throat and his blood ran cold as Jeremy’s head snapped back and his body began to seize. Blue sparks flew out of his slack mouth, and his eyes rolled back until they were completely white. He was making an awful stuttering noise, before he dropped to his knees and slumped over on his side. Then he lay still.

“JEREMY!!!” Michael screamed. He ran to his best friend’s side, nearly tripping over Christine. He grabbed Jeremy’s shoulder and rolled him over on his back. Jeremy’s body sprawled out limply, his head lolling to one side. His jaw was slack, and his eyes were closed. Michael could see tiny tendrils of smoke coming from his hair and shirt, like he’d been burned. He froze in terror as he saw tears leak out of Jeremy’s closed eyes and slide back towards his ears. A trickle of blood was coming out of one ear.

“J-J-Jeremy…?” He asked again, trying to keep the fear in his voice low. No response. He grabbed both of Jeremy’s shoulders and gave him a shake. Nothing. He shook him again, longer this time. “Hey,” he muttered, gripping his shoulders tighter. “Hey! Jeremy! Come on!” Jeremy’s head rolled back and forth as he shook him. His arms began to rattle as the shakes began to get violent. “Jeremy, come on, man!” Michael grunted through his teeth. “You better not be joking. Because… it’s… not… funny!” Angrily, Michael grabbed Jeremy’s face, digging his nails into his cheeks. His skin was cold and clammy.

“Jeremy, _dammit_!” Michael choked out, quickly bending down until his ear touched Jeremy’s chest. He couldn’t tell of there was a heartbeat or not, because his own heart was raging like a caged animal against his ribs. But Jeremy’s chest was certainly not going up and down; it was stiff and motionless, like a slab of concrete. He held one of his hands in front of Jeremy’s mouth, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. A hot, angry sob escaped Michael’s throat as he felt no sign of breathing. His head started pounding as he brought his hands to his temples. He felt his hands ball into tight fists. He began to rock himself back and forth, trying not to give in to the darkness… to the crushing panic.  

_Knock knock knock knock…_

_It sucks he left me here alone_

_Knock knock knock knock…_

Darkness began to creep into his vision. His heart slowed down now… enough for him to take in one long, unsteady breath. The pounding in his head suddenly gave way to a memory: The summer before their sophomore years, he and Jeremy took Red Cross classes in a vain attempt to get some first-base action. Michael was the only one to pass; Jeremy had fainted during his final with Nicole Pasquale.

“Okay.” He said hoarsely. He ran his hands along Jeremy’s chest until he found his sternum. He assumed the position and began pumping his hands up and down on Jeremy’s chest, counting as he went. Jeremy’s whole body rattled with every pump. Michael took in another long breath, prepping for Step Two. He took off his glasses and slipped them in his hoodie pocket.  “Okay buddy… I’m prepared for no direct eye contact from you for the next 2 years...” He muttered to himself as he tilted Jeremy’s chin up and used his other hand to cover his nose. “Cause… ’cause it’s about to get really gay up in here.”

He bent down and pressed his lips into Jeremy’s, trying to keep still as he blew air into his lungs. It was easier than he thought, as Jeremy’s lips and mouth were a lot thinner and smaller than his own. They were cold though, and made his own lips feel hotter. He felt sweat dribble down his neck. Again. He pumped Jeremy’s chest, using all his body weight. 1, 2, 3. Tilt, inhale, blow. _Again._ Pump. 1, 2, 3…

_Clang clang clang clang…_

_I feel the pressure blowing up_

_Bang bang bang bang…_

“Come on, Jeremy…!” Michael whispered in between pumps, “Come on… not now…” He began to do it faster, taking deeper breaths and holding his mouth to Jeremy’s longer. “Come on… COME ON!” He felt tears beginning to prick the corners of his eyes. The darkness was creeping back in, and his head started to pound. “Please… Jeremy…” he choked as he blew into his mouth once, twice… the panic was settling in. He gripped Jeremy’s face tighter, and held even longer the third time…  “JEREMY, PLEASE…!”

Suddenly, he heard a loud, wheezing inhale and pulled away from Jeremy’s face. Jeremy’s back arched and his eyes snapped open. He started coughing and wheezing violently, his chest inflating rapidly. Hot tears flooded down Michael’s face, seemingly out of nowhere. A large, goofy grin spread across his face and his shoulders heaved with relief. He began laughing, a shaky laugh that sounded odd.

“Michael…?” Jeremy whispered between gasps. His voice was barely audible. “What…?”

“Oh my fucking GOD!!!” Michael sobbed, scooping Jeremy up into the tightest bear hug he’d ever given. “Don’t you ever do that—don’t you EVER do that again!” He felt his whole body heaving with sobs, and his face was burning hot. “If you do that again I’ll KILL you! I’ll FUCKING KILL YOU!!! You hear me?! I MEAN IT!!!” He didn’t care how loud he was being, or if Jeremy’s ribcage was being squashed into his own. He’d never been so relieved in his entire life. Unable to stop himself, Michael leaned in and kissed Jeremy on the shoulder, then on his cheek, then...

“ _Ungh_ …” Jeremy moaned before going limp in Michael’s arms. A rush of panic surged through him, before quickly diminishing as he saw Jeremy had just passed out. He was still breathing, and his face was now flushed and sweaty. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace, and sweat marks were forming on the neck and underarm parts of his shirt. Michael carefully laid him back down on the floor, only now becoming aware of the red flashing lights beaming through the assembly hall windows.

“We’re good, bud.” He exhaled, gripping Jeremy's hand tightly. The relief was giving way to a strange, new feeling. “Everything’s…  chill.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE'RE OFF LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE GAYLYMPICS SEEM TO HAVE A SLOW START BUT I CAN TELL THE FINALS ARE GONNA BE ELECTRIC!!! (ಠ‿ಠ) Nothing like a little ANGST to offset the sheer unadulterated fluffernutter that's coming next.


	2. Flickering

“ _Might still have voices in my head, but now they’re just the normal kind…_ ”          

“Jell-O delivery!” Michael sang, popping his head into the hospital room. “I didn’t know what flavor you liked, so I got all of them!” He balanced four different-colored Jell-O cups in a tower in one hand as he walked toward Jeremy’s bed. Jeremy' father was sitting in a chair next to the bed. Today he was wearing loud red and orange checkered slacks; Mr. Heere wore different pants every time he visited, and it became a challenge to make Jeremy laugh with every pair. So far he was two for two.

“I want… cherry. No, green apple.” Said Jeremy. He looked healthier than he had in weeks.

“The green one is lime.” Replied Michael. Jeremy made an ‘ick’ face and took the red one.

“I’ll take the lime!” Rich chirped from his side of the room. “It’ll remind me of tequila shots.” Michael tossed Rich the green one and sat down to tear into the orange, his favorite. Mr. Heere swiped the blue raspberry one and proceeded to re-grill Jeremy on the whole “Squip” ordeal. Michael wasn’t sure Jeremy could explain it any better, but he didn’t blame Mr. Heere… it was a rather crazy story. Mr. Heere was about to ask another question before his phone went off, playing “Venus in Blue Jeans.”

“Oh dear… it’s the office… they sound frazzled.” He said, holding the phone away from his ear. “Think I need to rush over there for a minute.”

“In those pants?” Jeremy smirked. Mr. Heere playfully bopped his son’s shoulder in response. Michael couldn’t help but smile; he was super proud of Mr. Heere, and he could tell Jeremy was too.

“I’ll be back with dinner, how’s Chipotle sound?” Mr. Heere asked as he headed out. He was met by a garbled mess of different orders, including Rich wanting a vegetarian burrito. “Just text it to me!”

“Say hi to my mom!” Michael called as Mr. Heere disappeared down the hall. They texted their orders before Michael whipped out his and Jeremy’s Nintendo DS’s and proceeded to play Pokémon and the Gameboy version of _Apocalypse of the Damned_. Rich reclined back in his bed and watched more _Law & Order SVU_. “You want more Jell-O?” asked Michael, noticing that Jeremy’s plastic cup was empty.

“I’m okay.” Jeremy replied, but then made a subtle movement toward Rich. Michael picked up on it right away, and went to shut the curtain separating the two beds. Rich let out an exasperated sigh.

“You know I can still hear you!” Rich said as he turned up the volume on his TV to ignore them.

“You sure you don’t want Jell-O?” Michael asked again, “I don’t mind, I swear. The nurse who gives them out totally has a thing for me, and she’s only supposed to give me one, but she always—”

“Michael,” Jeremy said, stifling a laugh. “I seriously don’t get you. I was a jerk to you for almost a month and you’ve been treating me like I’m your lord and master or something. Am I gonna owe you once I’m out of here? What is it you want? My Nintendo DS? My Magic cards? My Macbook Pro?”

“You don’t owe me anything… but you would really give me your Magic cards?”

“ _Michael_ , I’m serious!” Jeremy’s smile lessened now. “I don’t understand. I’m the one who should be trying to make up for how I acted.”

“But that wasn’t you!” Michael shrugged, “It was the Squip. You can’t blame yourself for…”

“The Squip was off when I called you a loser and left you alone at that party.” Jeremy wasn’t smiling now. The memory of it clearly pained him, and he rested his head in his hands. “Michael, I really am sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I just… I don’t even know what. I don’t know what I wanted. But I _didn’t_ want to hurt you.” He looked up as Michael sat down on the bed next to him, beaming at him.

“Dude… I’m just glad you’re still here, okay?” said Michael, putting a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Look, it could’ve been a lot worse… let’s just try and move on, alright? Now about the Magic Cards…”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Jeremy interrupted, “What could’ve been worse?”

“Don’t worry about it; it’s over now, the Squip’s out and everyone’s safe. Now let’s…”

“Michael.” Jeremy eyeballed him, his eyebrows furrowing. “What else did I do to you?”

“Nothing!” Michael laughed, “I mean, besides the whole abandonment in the bathroom?”

“I mean at the play!” Jeremy said pointedly. “The Squip was taking over my body at one point, there are spots I don’t remember. The last thing I remember is the screams. After that… nothing.”

“And that’s why you have me to recap it for you, because it was incredible!” Michael exclaimed, a little louder than he expected. “You destroyed your Squip, and everyone fainted and then it was fine!”

“Then why did I hear you say you’ll fucking kill me?” Jeremy asked quietly.

Michael felt his innards twist into a knot. He had been trying to block out that horrible few minutes before the paramedics arrived, and he certainly didn’t want Jeremy to know about it. He had been through enough. Plus, it’s not like Michael wanted to share the details of those awful moments of panic. About how he cried like a baby, _again_ … about how close Jeremy got to dying. He shook his head.              

“Um, I didn’t say that.” He muttered, “You must have been hallucinating.”

“Michael, you’re lying.” Jeremy said, rather nicely. “You haven’t been able to lie to me since you stole my holographic Mewtwo card to show your brother and then lost it.” Michael couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory, but remained quiet. “Michael… I want to know what I did. Or…what the Squip did. You don’t have to sugarcoat it for me, I just…I’ll always wonder. And I want you to know I’m sor—”

“DON’T apologize!” Michael snapped, “Not for THAT! Look, it was just… you drank the Red, you beat the Squip, and everyone was screaming, but then YOU were screaming and then, there was this buzzing sound and, and you fell over, and you weren’t moving and… and I… _fuck_.” The tears were coming. He balled his fists and tried to continue. “And… you weren’t breathing and… I was really scared and… and…” He wrapped his arms over his head as the tears came bubbling to the surface. He stood up and started to walk away, but Jeremy grabbed hold of his thick red hoodie and didn’t let go. “God… god damn it…” Michael stammered. “I just… _I almost lost you, man!!_ ” The memory was triggering the panic.

“Oh no, _Michael_ …” Jeremy murmured as Michael sat back down and started to cry. His sobs became more high-pitched as his throat began to tighten. Jeremy felt a nostalgic smile creep over his features as he put a comforting arm around Michael’s broad shoulders. He’d done this dozens of times in the past twelve years. It had always been like this, for as long as they’d known each other. Michael had always been the big sensitive one, and Jeremy had always been the small intellectual one. His dad had called them ‘teenage Ren and Stimpy.’ Michael leaned in and rested his forehead on Jeremy’s shoulder, trying desperately to choke back loud sobs as Jeremy rubbed his back reassuringly. “It’s okay, man.” Jeremy said, running his hands across Michael’s shoulders. “Everything’s okay.” Michael hiccupped softly and began unloading the burden of that night. As Jeremy listened, a million thoughts, a million memories began whirring in his mind. One of them burned louder than the rest…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These boys are too good and pure for this world ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾ I know this is a lot of filler, but the next part is a memory so I needed to buildup to the flashback before the ending. Get ready, bitches.


	3. Candles

_We met at his sixth birthday party. I was five. It was 2004, the year of the Backyardigans and trying to convince my mom that yes, I needed at least ONE Super Mario game. His mom was (and still is) my dad’s secretary. She had invited my parents to the party, and they brought me. It was quite the blowout, according to my dad; the Filipinos know how to have a good party. I remember the other kids wanting to play kickball and tag, and I didn’t. I didn’t want to get knocked down or hit with a ball aimed at me. I was really small and shrimpy at that age, you can tell by any picture… not much has changed._

_I went into the house, avoiding the grownups who would just put me back outside. I went upstairs, but all the doors were closed except for the bathroom. I went inside to pee, when I heard something from in the bathtub. I pulled back the blue and yellow ducky shower curtain, and there was a husky, brown-skinned boy with glasses, sitting in the dry bathtub, fully clothed, and crying. I laughed at first, but only because it was the first time I’d seen someone in the bathtub with clothes on. Then I asked him why he was crying. ‘It’s my birthday,’ he said. ‘It’s my birthday, but nobody wants to play with me. I don’t wanna play outside, the kids will laugh at me… I just wanna play my new Pac-Man game.’_

_I liked Pac-Man, a lot. My mom would always give me quarters to play it in the mall while she went into Nordstrom. So, I said I would play Pac-Man with him, if he wanted. And he stopped crying and got out of the tub. That’s when I realized how big he was. He was 2 inches taller than me, and he was heavyset and had wide shoulders, something that he never outgrew. I thought it was cool, like I was hanging out with an older kid, except not really. And we went into his bedroom and played his new Pac-Man game. His dad is a big fan of retro things, and had got it for him to pass down his obsession… it worked. We played for hours, and no one disturbed us. It was the most fun I’d had with another person._

_After a while, his mom finally came up and found us. She scolded Michael for not coming down to have cake and thank his guests. Michael started crying again, and said he didn’t want to come downstairs. ‘There’s too many people,’ I remember he said. ‘I’m scared.’ His mom was chill and left us alone after that. I asked him if he wanted to bring kids up here to play games. He said no. ‘I like playing with you best. My brothers won’t play with me either,’ he said. I was amazed that he had 2 older brothers and an older sister, and still felt so lonely. I’m an only child, and I would’ve given anything to have a brother. Then Michael gave me a big smile, the first smile I’d seen from him, and said ‘Okay, I’ll be your brother!’ And I knew… I knew right then and there that he was going to be my best friend, forever._

_Then he started crying again when I had to leave. His brothers were laughing, and I could see why he felt lonely around them. Mom told me to give him a hug, so I did and I told him that I’ll come back tomorrow to play some more, and then he won’t cry in the bathtub with his clothes on anymore. He bit his lips and put his head down; looking back, I must’ve really embarrassed him. His brothers started really laying into him then, and I got mad. And I told his brothers that they were being mean and that they should be nice to him, like a brother was supposed to be (or what I thought a brother was supposed to be, I guess). And Michael smiled at me, but he was still crying So I asked him why he was crying this time, and he said ‘I can’t stop crying, but I am really, really happy. I promise. Bye, Jeremy see you soon!’_

* * *

 

“ _Hic_ … I’m feeling better now.” Michael muttered, his voice cracking. “You can let go n—” He lifted his head from Jeremy’s shoulder, but suddenly Jeremy wrapped his other arm around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. It was quiet for a few moments. before Michael noticed Jeremy was trembling. “Dude?” he asked, pulling himself away to look at him. To his surprise, Jeremy had tears forming in his big blue eyes. His lower lip was quivering. Michael was genuinely surprised; Jeremy hardly ever cried.

“You… saved my life.” Jeremy sobbed, his voice full of emotion. “After everything I did… After I was such a jerk… I don’t… I don’t deserve…” He could barely form words. “Michael, _God_... thank you.” Michael smiled and leaned in close to Jeremy, so their foreheads were touching. Jeremy shut his eyes tight, and the shaking increased as two tears slid down his cheeks. Michael couldn’t help but feel his heart swell at how cute Jeremy looked when he was emotional. It reminded him of when they were kids.

“Like I said, bud. I’m just glad you’re here.” Michael said warmly. “You gonna be okay?”

“You… can have… ALL of my… Magic cards…” Jeremy replied, smiling through his tears. “And all my… Pokemon cards…” By now Michael was chuckling, which slowly spread to Jeremy. “I just… realized something.” Jeremy said between giggles. “You… technically… we kissed.” There was an awkward pause.

“I mean, technically yeah.” Michael anxiously scratched the back of his neck. “That bother you?”

“Not really.” Jeremy said tentatively. “It did save my life after all. And I mean, it’s not like you’re my first kiss. I kissed Chloe at the Halloween party, so… I mean, nothing really is gonna top that, ever.”

“Can’t fault you for that.” Michael snickered, giving him a fist-bump. “But… you were my first.”

“Really? Well…” Now Jeremy was looking uncomfortable. “I guess… I mean… well, how was it?”

“To be honest, you were pretty lifeless.”

The floodgates opened and the boys burst into fits of laughter. The tension evaporated, and in that moment, everything was normal again. They were just two boys, best friends, taking on the world together. Jeremy’s laughing subsided first, as he reached out and pulled Michael close to him in a hug.

“I…I love you, man.” He murmured, gripping Michael’s hoodie. Michael blinked a few times as his brain registered what he just heard. He slowly wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s slim shoulders.

“I… love you too, bro.” he finally replied. “I’m… I’m really glad you’re okay.” There was moment of quiet tension, both unsure of what they were supposed to do, or say, next. Finally, Jeremy coughed.

“Do you… wanna play more _Apocalypse_?” he asked, awkwardly shifting his position on the bed.

“Uh, yeah.” Michael replied, picking up his DS. They waited for the game to load, both staring down at their screens. There was an odd sense of ‘now what?’ in the air as the game booted up and they started playing. “So…” Michael finally said, “Have you… tried to talk to Christine yet?”

“Who?” Jeremy said absentmindedly. “OH! Right, yeah, um… no. I haven’t.” Christine had completely escaped his mind for the past few hours. Even now, his mind didn’t seem to have room for her. Millions of different thoughts were buzzing in his head, none of them involving her. He’d deal with them all in time. For now, he was content to just be with his best friend again, playing video games.

“Michael?”

“Yeah, bud?”

“ _I hope that I’m still your favorite person, I mean you’re still mine, but I’d understand..._ ”

“ _You always will be my favorite person, no matter what you say, or what God had planned…_ ”

_High school still bites,_

_But I know we’re gonna be alright_

_'Cause it’s me and you..._

_Forever a two-player game._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FWIENDSHIP (｡◕‿◕｡) I seriously love the bond that these two boys share, so I wanted to start with the friendship and work my way up to the gayfully ever after. Baby Michael and Baby Jeremy give me SUCH life. Could somebody draw them?? 
> 
> P.S. Rich is 100% listening to this entire thing from behind the curtain, sobbing into his lime Jell-o (ಥ⌣ಥ)


End file.
